"Zero-tolerance" policies have transfigured children antics and pranks into terrorist acts that increasingly criminalize "doodlings" or "tantrums" into psychological disorders and legal issues. This type of ideology facilitates the "school to prison pipeline." Somehow, I escaped the streamline, but it was through the aid of big brother. Indeed, thanks to uncle sammy and big bro, I was provided an ounce of a chance to suffocate among the rest.#comeatmebro
In other parts of the world, a Malthusian Catastrophe hit "critical mass," as a society faced a forced return to subsistence-level conditions because their population growth had outpaced agricultural production. The political body of local government also hit "critical morass" as they found "difficulties" in their assessments of assets to distribute and in ways to figure out a manner to clean up the unfortunate mess.
A man has lost his mind a few blocks down from my house; he lingers, and he mumbles to himself verses from an old biblical song. Everyone stares at him from the comfort of their homes, myself included. He mutters "mummum" and sometimes crawls on all fours; he seems to be looking for something in the cracks. Moreover, the Grapevine news co. and Team Comadres Chismosas received reports that a young man also lost his mind in the middle of the night yesterday, dazed between sleepless days and late night coffee shops that were poorly lit. There have been quite a rise in these types of events, reported Comadre Sota to Comadre ada.
It was a tragic day in America today; there were no reports of the lady that's been missing from her fruit stand on Flower Street. On a good day she'd give you the fruit medley for one dollar. She came from South America to find a better life, but instead she found a long line that told her to sell fruit while her dream was being processed at the Institution for Creating Equity. Many still wonder how she could get fall fruits in the winter and spring vegetables in the summer, rumors spread that she was in cahoots with Bigwig-Large-Major-Major Corpo-rations which harvested, manipulated and mass produced produce at monopolizing levels; perhaps a dirty deal went down and she got the "short stick."
Sound beams and silent noise replaced tear gas and riot guns today at a massive demonstration no one heard about or was even aware about; news of any of this floated down Temple and Grand near the Cathedral of Our Lady of Angel's Mausoleum in the form of a bystander everyone took for a homeless crazy bag lady. She mumbled that the church and state met in the crypt. That they all dwelt in the house of the lord. That they all laughed over the dead bodies of saints and martyrs; that there were no guardian angels to protect the demonstrators. That when the event occurred, no one wanted to see it, so they didn't see it; she said this while supplicating for change, which everyone confused for Washington's coins and green pieces of papers that read "In God We Trust," some paid no attention to her, not wanting to see her and so not seeing her, thus effectively rendering her existence non-existent. To this day, she occasionally yells about a noise which no one else seems to hear.
No one cares about the rising price of tea in China because they are too tired and anyway everyone knows why the price is rising: the same ol same ol, and so no once really cares or sees a point in discussing or making a fuss about the same ol same ol; it's like making a big deal over civil rights issues, it's like making a big deal over Japanese internment camps, it's like making a big deal over the Gulag, It's like making a big deal about El Movimiento, it's like making a big deal over Armenian Genocide, it's like making a big deal about poverty and crime and violence: same ol same ol. #that'slife#lol#selfie#lovethyneighbor#comeatmebro
And goddamn it, I must overlook, dear reader, the massive murder and death by hunger and malnutrition across the country and the globe because I'm late for work. Also, no, I am not a "foodie;" I only take pictures of empty plates and play a guessing game with my followers on the internet; I have five million friends. They each have quirky guesses: you had a quiche!, you had a crepe!, etc. the truth is I usually walk into restaurants and take pics of already empty plates that people leave behind; I look for a particular lipstick that I once saw on a napkin in a bar in Downtown L.A.
Today, a kid shot his mother in the back of her goddamned head. When asked why he did it, he said he wanted to see the color of his blood. Psychologists were amazed, and he was allowed to return to his videogames as doctors continued their probing and analysis. He must be observed in his natural habitat they reasoned. We cannot reach a conclusion, yet. Who knows the causes of these types things? surely, I don't. In the name of science and progress we must continue. We must tame this...this...We must unlock these types of fanatic and extremist outbursts and attack them pre-emptively, before they attacks us again. Control and utility is the key here ladies and gentlemen. Control and utility. #ftw#IdoWHATIwant
Kids are no longer asking why the chicken crossed the road but, instead, have substituted more philosophical musings, asking what in the hell is a chicken doing in the road in the first place. Indeed, kids are making more sense nowadays, and why not? with their technological devices at hand, who needs to explain anything?
A pharmaceutical company revealed today that they spread the rumor of nervios as a disease so that they could only make profit off of schoolchildren. Another pharmaceutical company released a statement, saying, "we are sad to hear that the other company pumped drugs into your children. We have the cure and answers that you seek, please buy our pills as it not only helps cure nervios, but it does so without harm; after all, the pills are merely a placebo and so you see...out products merely work with you at the psychological level." Sales went up thrice-fold!
A woman was raped and now pants are being worn, denim in particular. There were some other items created, like the "anti-rape" underwear. The inventors claim that it will make women feel safer. They sell for about 50 to 60 dollars a piece--not bad, considering one's well-being is at risk.
A young man in China thought he could get away with mentioning Tiananmen Square in an online thread by utilizing foreign applications that allowed for e-mail accounts and creation of "anonymous" usernames. Company X claimed it held no allegiance to China, but that it had to comply with local law, and since company X offered its services in China, it soon handed over a list of names of individuals whom were later visited by Chinese officials and sentenced to hard labor.
The latest blockbuster was a flop since it did not appropriately blow things out of proportion. We need more chaotic disruptions; this film makes too much sense and one can easily predict the outcome; it lacks suspense and relies too much on Aristotelian unities. We need more extravagant lies to make the film believable. Critics varied in opinions, but all concluded that the film needed more of nothing.
By god almighty! the chip is now available! the one with the capability to be placed inside the young minds of the sharpest individuals so that they can be sharper. Many have lined up at the Major-Network Co. located in Silly Con City to volunteer for experimental surgery in the name of the techno-bio-magical banner. All for one and one for all! together we shall explore the deepest expanses of the brain hyperspace and conquer! The chip! the chip! hip hip hooray!
With one gain sometimes comes a loss; Indeed, the Wong-Baker Faces Pain Rating Scale will no longer be needed as scientist have developed a more accurate manner to measure pain...and consequently, love. Many couples have flooded their doctor's offices. Also, divorce rates have recently reached an all-time high. Doctor visits are now a hot spot for first dates.
A waitress in the middle of America worked the graveyard shift and was treated shitty by various customers. She forced miles of smiles, and often thought about her children at home and her fatherless past. She sighed at the end of her shift, happy to head home and finally get a bit of rest. Unfortunately, while her favorite song played on the radio, she dreamed her way onto the front lawn of some yuppie neighborhood, but it did not bother her. In fact, she laughed hysterically about it all, and the courts deemed her mad, but she still had to go to jail.
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