“I sit here before my computer, Amiguita, my altar on top of the monitor with the Virgen de Coatlalopeuh candle and copal incense burning. My companion, a wooden serpent staff with feathers, is to my right while I ponder the ways metaphor and symbol concretize the spirit and etherealize the body. The Writing is my whole life, it is my obsession. This vampire which is my talent does not suffer other suitors. Daily I court it, offer my neck to its teeth. This is the sacrifice that the act of creation requires, a blood sacrifice. For only through the body, through the pulling of flesh, can the human soul be transformed. And for images, words, stories to have this transformative power, they must arise from the human body--flesh and bone--and from the Earth's body--stone, sky, liquid, soil. This work, these images, piercing tongue or ear lobes with cactus needle, are my offerings, are my Aztecan blood sacrifices.” ― Gloria E. AnzaldĂșa, Borderlands/La Frontera: The New Mestiza

Monday, December 16, 2013

Capirotada and Menudo

Children wriggled and wailed as the man on the pulpit exalted the fantastic in fevers. With a few abra-cadabra's, the man in the suit and tie cued the crowd with a charisma and phraseology, and everyone applauded and danced and jumped, and pretty soon, even the adults joined the children in the wailing and wriggling. Everyone paid what they could; the show, after all, was free.

There was a funny looking man in the middle of it all, observing the whole thing from atop, watching everything go to and fro like a sea of hands. His sense of detachment made him feel egotistically maniacal, and he felt sorry for this. He got down and felt bad; he had no idea why, he just did, perhaps it occurred to him that everyone was fucked and everything was fucked, and even this idea gave him a sense of guilt, for what did he, this funny looking man, know about anything? to make such judgments? Who is who to say which is what and how much something means to someone if nothing to him?

He caught himself as a lump and moistness build up in his throat and eyes, he swallowed and breathed so as to contain the oceanic feeling. It passed; he felt regular now, meaning that he was again detached. He felt muddy on the inside, dry lips and skin on the outside.

He went to his Aunt's house afterwards. They ate Menudo and had Capirotada afterwards. Capirotada and Menudo. Most days were Capirotada and Menudo for this funny looking man. She showed him pictures of her younger days, but she couldn't explain most of them since she couldn't recall. Ay mijo, se me va la memoria. No worries Tia, he said, maybe it's better to not remember some times. She pointed out a picture where he was held by his mother, and his aunt was next to her; their hair was all fluffy; She combed her frail wires with her hand; she said, ay, would you look at that! my hair hasn't aged a bit! His uncle stepped into the living room and replied, me too! I'm as strong as an Ox! look. His uncle lifted the TV to show him. Now lift me, his Aunt said. Hmph! he replied, do you want to kill me woman!? beside, I'm tuckered out already. Then he disappeared into the kitchen to grab a Bud Light.

The funny looking man excused himself and stepped out into the porch; He remained in place for a while, thinking about Capirotada and Menudo. 

He recalled a time when the sirens were relentless, and where the helicopter would cut the air and send its' force thrashing down. And where the child next door, the one with ADD, always yelled weird things that no one understood but that made perfect sense to him, and he would hop the fence and find his way into the living room, perhaps in search of something he felt was missing. Where the phone would ring, and the telemarketer on the other side was but a mere a salesperson, and it was your neighbor, asking for a cup of sugar for their tea and coffee. A place where the wash would finish with a ping, and you'd throw it in the drier, which would whir and clank. And the stillness of the living room, where the television would be turned off, could still be heard calling you, so you would go to the computer and surf the net, but the dryer is done. ping. Then the house fire alarm would go off, fuck! you forgot about the tea kettle, as you would dash to turn off the bubbling the water and would run to the alarm and press the button on it to shut it off. Jesus! it's nothing, but it's everything. A place where you needed to stop the world.

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